All Falls Down
by cassietoevil
Summary: Takes place right after 3x03 After surviving her own near death experience, things in Olivia's life start to change fast. Who can she count on as it All Falls Down? Olitz endgame first fanfic
1. Numb,Anxious,Worried and Alone

**Chapter One: Numb, Anxious, Worried, and Alone**

She's home….finally. She can let go, she can break down. Olivia Pope has earned that especially after a day like today. She's gained the right to let it go, to let her walls down for a few minutes and just cry. Her ash riddled clothes are a testament to the fact that she is alive. While the blood and dust underneath her ruined manicure bare a jarring reminder of today's failures. Because that's what she has done, she failed and poor, grieving, naïve Mary paid the price.

Much like the bomb that turned Mary into nothing more than body parts…this last failure proves to be too much, the final crack in damn. She failed Cyrus by putting her heart before her head. She failed her father by being never leaving up to his standards. She failed Fitz by running again, by putting his "needs" before their love, knowing it would crush his heart in the process. With all this failures over her head all she wants is to do is unwind at home with a good bottle of wine.

Except she can't.

Because after a day like this she forgot he was here…..Jake. Poor. Broken. Backstabbing Jake. He's in her home when he shouldn't be. He's looking at her and talking but she doesn't hear him, she doesn't see him. No instead of his hazel eyes questioning her she's envisioning steel-blue ones staring at her lovingly. She's imagining broad shoulders encasing her in love and curly brown hair running through her fingers. She's looking at Jake and thinking of Fitz…again. Olivia sighs as she tries to clear her head of her married ex-lover.

Making her way to the kitchen Olivia hunts for her last bottle of wine choosing to drink the last few drops straight from the bottle. Jake is still talking but she doesn't care. Olivia has neither the energy nor time to answer his incessant questions. Brushing him off, she retells the same lie her gladiators heard.

"I'm fine."

But she's not. Slowly she is falling apart and he can't see that. No Jake is just talking again ignoring the blatant fact that Olivia just wants to be left alone. Like a love sick puppy he continues to follow her around the house as she tries to escape. Hounding her with questions and submitting her to his twisted inquisition. Sighing as she reaches the bedroom Olivia has finally had enough.

"Jake, I get you are "_concerned_"right now, but I just was to be alone." Olivia states as she slams the door in his face.

Grateful that _**at last **_he gets it, Olivia sighs heavily as she listens to his footsteps led away. Dropping her shoes and purse on the floor Olivia silently makes her way through her sunset lit room. Exhausted she sits on her bed still in her ruined clothing, but does not care. Because now she can let go, now she is free to break down.

But she can't because the moment has past and now she is numb.

Numb and Alone.

* * *

He's pacing in circles. Chuckling to himself Fitzgerald Grant realizes yet another small trait he has picked up from her…from Olivia. His Livvie, who almost died today. She was almost blown to pieces today and he could do was watch helplessly. While she was locked in a room with a bomb, he was locked in the bunker with his wife. She was in danger and there he was powerless, trapped in one of the safest places in the country. The most powerful man in the world couldn't do anything….once again.

Is it all worth it, the campaigning, the extensive security, and the secrets? What's the point is if he is proven powerless over and over again? Standing in the middle of the Presidential seal scotch in hand Fitz stops to imagine how completely different his life would be if he hadn't "won" the election. Mellie wouldn't want to be bound to a failure so a divorce would have been eminent after his campaign loss. His children would have been brought home instead of growing up in a boarding school that he hated. And Olivia…they could have been together. Not immediately of course, too fast and the rumors labeling her "a home wrecker" would never end. Knowing Olivia she would have already planned out just how to go about introducing their relationship to world. She would have thought of everything from when their "first" date would be to how long until being formally introduced as his girlfriend. If he had it his way not long after she would become his fiancé and eventually his wife. Who knows maybe after all that he could have run again with Olivia as his first lady? She would be far more than ornamental; no Olivia Pope would have renovated the role of First Lady.

But he can't think about life's what ifs and what could have been, the damage is already done. He has made his bed and has to lie in it. Sighing loudly Fitz plops down on the couch, resting his feet on its arm.

At least now she was safe he thinks out loud. Olivia had made it out alive that was the day's silver lining; one he was damn grateful for, because any other outcome was unthinkable. The other outcome, the thought of his Livvie dying, was the reason that Fitzgerald Grant, President of the United States was slightly drunk laying on the sofa of the Oval Office at 1:36 in the morning. Because even the thought of living in a world without her, leaves him completely devastated.

A soft knock on the door wakes Fitz from his negative stupor. Sitting up he wonders what could possibly be wrong this early in the morning. Even slightly inebriated Fitz knows that good news never comes in the middle of the night. He yells out for whoever it is to enter as he contemplates what it could be. Did the Iranian government declare war? Was there an attack on American soil? Was it his kids, were they ok? Or has Mellie finally come woken from her drunken sleep and come to nag him about returning to the residence for appearance sake?

Instead he watches as SSA Tom enters with a small black phone in hand. After the days back and forth between him and Ballard Fitz can honestly say he is not all excited to see it again so soon. It is forever tainted with this horrible day.

"You have a call sir" Tom states as he hands the instrument over to Fitz. He face is stoic as always, trained into the perfect poker face giving away nothing but it is the look in his eyes that makes Fitz begin to worry.

"What is it Tom?" Fitz asks staring at the phone in his hand.

"You have a call sir" Tom repeats. "A dire one sir" he adds making his way out of the office before Fitz can ask any more questions.

The little black flip phone feels incredibly heavy in his hands as Fitz mulls over Tom's words. Was something wrong with Olivia? It has to be for her to call him at this time of night. Walking over to the window, Fitz sobers up mentally preparing himself for what is to come. He doesn't know what this conversation will entail, hell she could be calling just to yell at his impotence and Fitz would be happy just for the chance to hear her voice.

"Hi" Fitz greets breathlessly. He holds his breath as he waits for her response, for her to greet him in their special way so he knows that everything is going to be ok. But silence is all he receives. "Livvie?" he asks anxiously, clutching the tiny phone closer to his ear as his worry intensifies.

"Hello Mr. President"

* * *

_**AN: Hello all hoped you liked my first fanfic please rate and review. I love constructive criticism so don't feel bad telling me how to improve. After the complete fuckery that was all of season three Scandal I have lost all hope (the little that I did have) in SR. She was handed gold in her hands and somehow turned it into complete shit sigh oh well that's what's fanfiction is for right?**_


	2. Voices, Phonecalls and Visits

**_Chapter two: Voices, Phone calls, and Visits._**

"Jake?!" Fitz answers, his voice echoing both surprise and disappointment at the unwelcome caller. _What is he doing calling on Livvie's phone?_ He thinks as he resting his head against the cold window. "I thought we were done playing phone tag today Ballard. Is there any particular reason you are calling me at damn near 2:30 in the morning?" Gathering his thoughts Fitz seats down behind the resolute desk, leaning back in his chair as he contemplate Jake's possible motives. "And more importantly why are you calling me on Olivia's phone?" he demands.

"Trust me _Fitzgerald,_" Jake sneers through his clenched teeth "I wouldn't be calling you if I had a choice."

"Now that I do not doubt," Fitz responds sarcastically noting the clear venom he hears in Jake's voice. "But that still does not answer my question: **Why. Are. You. Calling. Me. On. Olivia's. Phone?**" he inquires once again, this time stating each word slowly as he attempts to quell the rapidly growing sense of unease he feels. _Please don't let it be Liv_ Fitz prays.

"It's Olivia." Jake finally conveys as though he has read Fitz's mind. And just like that he feels his stomach drop "She's-"

"She's what?" Fitz shouts out as he sits up in his seat. _What is wrong with Livvie? _His breath uneven, Fitz cannot help but panic as the worst case scenarios start to invade his mind. _Was there another attack? What happened? Is she hurt? _ _Please don't let her be hurt_ he pleads silently. "Is she ok?"

"Ok?!" Jakes roars "No she is **not** ok Mr. President! She was almost blown apart today, came within an inch of death. If that wasn't bad enough now she is sitting on her bed not moving, staring off into space. So no Fitzgerald, Olivia is not ok!" Jake huffs off his voice full of outrage.

For a moment Fitz is stunned silent by Ballard's omission. Of course he knows she was not ok, because he isn't either. "Jake I know-"

"And to be completely honest I don't think there is anything you can do" ignoring him completely, Jake continues on his jealous filled rant. "Even though this is partly your fault, but Huck said that you should know-"

Entirely tired by the aggravating sound of Ballard's voice, Fitz has had enough. "I'll be there in ten minutes" he states curtly as he slams the phone shut. There is only so much a man can take in one day and Fitz has no room left for the jealous ranting of an envious man.

Taking a deep breath, Fitz takes a moment to let the unfortunate information sinking. _Olivia was not o.k. She wasn't hurt, not physically anyway, but she is in pain. By the sound of it she was breaking down again, just like after Edison proposed. _Heremembers how desolate her voice sounded then, how vacant it was. He had known instantly that something was wrong, and hated the fact that he could not help the love of his life when she needed him then. _But I can help her now_

_"_Tom, Daniel we are on the move._"_

Shrugging on his suit jacket decision made up makes way out of the Oval Office. With a single thought repeating in his head:

_His Livvie was not okay…His Livvie needed him._

* * *

(One Hour Earlier)

There were voices at her door, whispering back and forth. Fighting over something but Olivia didn't care, she was too preoccupied by the own argument raging in her head.

_You are a failure_

**_ I am the best fixer in all of Washington D.C_**

_You couldn't fix Mary…you couldn't fix Fitz_

**_ I tried…_**

_You failed. You are a failure, nothing more than mediocre_

**_ No!_**

_Just like Rowan said…why would anyone love a failure?_

The sound of the bedroom door opening jars Olivia out of her own mind. Expecting it to another one of Jake's useless attempts to make her talk, Olivia turns her back as the footsteps approaches. Steeling herself wrap cover around goes into fetal position she prepares grating sound of his voice.

"Liv?" But the voice isn't Jake; no instead she hears the low, graveling voice that could only mean one person: Huck. She should have known that he wouldn't just accept her lie. He knows her far too well to leave her alone.

Sighing deeply Olivia keeps her back turn towards Huck as he lies in bed next to her. The silence between them stretches timelessly as his unique scent of dust and cleaning supplies fills the air.

_Why can't I just be left alone?_ Olivia thinks as silently prays for Huck's swift departure.

"What do you need? What do you need me to do?" Huck asks, waiting eagerly for his orders. He needs to know how he can fix this, what he can do fix the fixer. "Just tell me and I'll take care of it Liv. I know we decided that in this circle killing people is wrong but I will of you need me to." He mumbles quietly knowing how sensitive Olivia is on the topic of murder.

But she doesn't react at all. Even as she feels Huck stare holes into the back of her head Olivia continues her lifeless gaze. She hears him, knows that Huck is doing his best just to try and help but she honestly doesn't know what to say.

At the minutes tick by Huck realizes that there was no getting through to his head gladiator. Shuffling his way towards out her bed room Huck makes one last statement.

"I'm going to get you what you need Olivia."

_But what do I need? _Olivia thinks as she hears the final sound of the door click close. As the murmuring outside her door continues, Olivia draws her body in closer thinking over Huck's words.

_What can fix me?_

* * *

"Well?" Jakes whispers impatiently as soon as Huck appears out of the doorway. Looking eagerly over his shoulder, Huck briefly scans for any sign of movement before gently closing the door.

"What happened?" Jake demands angered at the silence he is receiving.

"Call him" Huck replies shortly, brushing past Jake as he makes his way towards the living room. He knows that this conversation is not going to go over well, but all he wants is to help Olivia. And only one man can do that.

"What?!" Jakes states as he following quickly behind. "What did you say?"

"Call. Him." Huck restates slowly as he stalks his way around the apartment ending up in front of a curtained window. "You need to call him. She needs him." Huck answers truthfully although he can see the instant denial grow wide in Ballard's eyes,

"No she doesn't Huck." Jake fumes as he paces back in forth in front of the television. "She doesn't need him, between the two of us we can fix her. We don't need to call him to come _save the day._" he sneers sarcastically. "She is going to be fine without him; anyway he won't be able to do anything that I haven't tried-"

"He doesn't need to." he complies as he makes a quick glance at the time on his watch. Turning around to ensure that his point is being made, Huck makes a mental note on Jake's appearance. While he had long known that some form lovers quarrel was going on between Olivia, Jake and the President, the site of Jake in Olivia's home instantly rubbed him wrong.

_I'm failing her, _Huck admits to himself_. I'm her guard dog and yet somehow he has managed to weasel into her life. _He knows that all is not what it appears to be with Jake Ballard, he can all but smell the deceptive nature rolling off of him._ I have to watch him more closely, _Huck determines before fully answering.

"He won't have to try. He won't try to bring her tomato soup because he knows that clam chowder is her favorite. He won't have to get her to talk, they communicate without words."

"What if we-"

"No she needs him. This isn't about your feelings, this is about Liv and she needs him so..."

"Call him, yeah I got it" Jake concedes reluctantly.

With a final glare to ensure Jake will do what needs to be done Huck exits the apartment swiftly. As he Waits for the elevator to approach he makes the quick decision to have Ballard watched. _Something isn't right with him and I can't let Liv get hurt._ He is her silent protector, just as she is his anchor to the "normal" world. Exiting silently out of the lobby Huck walks quickly into the alleyway, already late for his next meeting.

* * *

(Present Time)

Fitz never remembers the drive to Olivia's apartment ever taking so long. The minutes that have passed by has felt more like hours.

"Johnson, what is our E.T.A?"

"Six minutes Sir"

Leaning back in his seat Fitz and thanks the world for the small favors of empty roads this early in the morning. The last thing he needs is more footage of him appearing at Olivia's place at questioning hours. He can hear just about hear the tirade he would receive from Cyrus now. As he watches the city pass by Fitz is given the first moment to stop and actually think about what has happened.

_What am I going to do? _He contemplates as he starts to message the slow building headache he has acquired. _Livvie needs me, but what exactly can I do? _He may know Olivia better than anyone but even Fitz is unsure of how to help. Sure he has seen parts of her no one else ever had, but there were still walls between them. There are things she refuses to tell even him, she has never let anyone all the way in.

He doesn't blame her; he completely understands her need to lock away some parts. _She's afraid to lose herself completely to me…to us. Liv is terrified of love. _And it doesn't help that their relationship situation is anything but ideal. While his marriage is still the biggest obstacle for them to surpass, it seems like every time they get one step closer a new problem arises.

_Between Amanda Tanner, Edison, Defiance, Mellie and Cyrus's incessant manipulations and least of all my Presidency there is this constantly roadblock from us just being happy. That's all I want, for us to just to be happy. Is it too much to ask? _

Contrary to what his Chief of Staff may believe Fitz is neither naïve nor stupid. Overly optimistic maybe, but he knows that this isn't a fairytale. He is well aware that the life is not black and white and of the double-standards of the political world they operate in. It is Olivia who has the most to lose between the two of them. While he would be able to live through the scandal, her life would be left to shambles all, that she worked for ruined.

She has the most as stake.

_That is why she has to keep some part to herself. That's why I have to protect her._

"Sir, we are here" Johnson states as he pulls their inconspicuous town car into the alley.

"Thank you, Tom…David with me upstairs." Fitz requests as he makes his way to the back elevator both agents surrounding him.

The ride up is quiet but he can all but hear the questions rattling inside Daniel's head. It is well known that Tom and Hal were his favorite agents, the ones he trusted with everything. For a while that was true, but shortly after his assassination attempt Fitz found out the Hal's loyalty lied not with him but his wife.

_The last thing I need is Mellie's interference right now._

For a relative newbie Daniel has proven his loyalty without fail. His serves at the pleasure of the President no questions asks, exactly what Fitz needs.

Exiting form the elevator Fitz makes the short walk to Olivia's apartment, his nerves growing with every step. As the agents flank themselves behind him, Fitz He pauses just before the door his hand raised, but he just can't bring himself to knock. In a crippling moment of self-doubt Fitz starts to worry if rushing over was the right thing.

_What if I'm not enough? What if Liv doesn't want to see me? _His mind races until it reaches his true fear: _What if I'm the problem?_

Taking a deep breathe Fitz forces away the somber thoughts as he finally knocks lightly against the wooden frame.

* * *

**AN: First off I'm sorry this took me so long! I finished finals on Friday 8pm and had to move out of my dorm by Saturday 5pm (which was very stupid of the housing office to decide). Anyway I'm free now so expect weekly(ish?) updates, barring any emergencies of course. I have more than half of the story written out just has to take time to type and edit. Obviously I've gone a ****_little_**** different ( ok a lot) from what was done on the show. It has always been my personal opinion that nothing in the Scandal-verse would have kept Fitz from Olivia after she survived almost being blown apart, regardless of their relationship status. **

**Oh yeah feel free to PM me what you think and leave reviews good or bad.**

**I have a Tumblr also: hisriverrunsdeep**

**Thanks, Cassie**


	3. Truths, Lies and Delusions

**Chapter Three: Truths, Lies and Delusions **

It had been ten long minutes since Fitz knocked softly on the door. Time he had spent anxiously pacing, debating in head on whether or not he should really be here.

_What if I just make things worse? What if she's completely fine...What if? _

As the minutes tick by with still no sign of activity inside, Fitz's thoughts slowly started to shift from self doubt to slow boiling anger. Bracing his arms against the wooden door frame Fitz slowly exhales as he tries to tame the steadily growing urge to break it down.

_Why would he call for my help, if Jake is not even going to open the door?!_

Raising his hands Fitz is prepared to knock loud enough to wake the entire building if he has to but freezes to the sound of the turning locks door finally opened….only to be greeted by the bitter frown graced on Jake Ballard's face.

Flanked by his secret service agents, Fitz knows full well how intimidating sight may seem to the man in front of him.

"Are you going to let me in? Or are we going to stand out here all night?"

With a disheartened grunt Jake stalks away from the door, all but slamming the door in Fitz's face. _Real petty Jake. _Mentally rolling his eyes at Jake's zealous behavior, Fitz proceeds to make his way inside Olivia's home followed shortly by Tom.

Stepping into the entryway Fitz is shocked to see just how much the place has changed. The apartment is completely different from last time he visited; when he counted down the clock then spent both night and morning showing Olivia just how much he loved her.

He remembers it all; from the look of shock on her face when Olivia answered the door to the sounds of her moans echoing through the walls as they made night somewhere after their sixth or seventh round of lovemaking, when Olivia just couldn't take anymore, Fitz took the time to get to know the place Olivia called home, getting to know the parts of her life that didn't include him or the White House.

It had only been a couple of months since that night and yet the room before him lay completely unrecognizable. Gone were her grand piano and memento filled bookcases, making the room feel empty without their presence. The photo frames on the wall that once held important moments, (the opening of OPA, the staff picture of his campaign, shots of Olivia's 30th birthday party, etc.) were now replaced by generic photos of sunsets and beaches. Even the white sofa set no longer sat center of the room but now faces against the hallway, making the room feel cold and cut off.

Just what in the hell happened here?

"Couldn't get away without your babysitters Grant?" Jake sneers as he turns to face him.

"Just one small perk of being the President, Jake. Tom is just doing his job." Fitz replies, willingly choosing not to take Jake's bait.

A tense silence filled the room, like the calm before the storm, as the two men stand facing each other. Placing his hands in his pockets Fitz ignores Jake's glare, the anger between the two men steadily building as they wait for the Secret Service Agent to finish his sweep.

"All clear Sir. Agent Barites and I will be right outside"

Nodding in agreement Fitz maintains eye contact with Jake until Tom closes the door behind him, leaving the two contending men stand off goes on for minutes each facing another opposite places of room, refusing to back down.

_I didn't come here to have a stare down with Ballard. This can wait, I'm here to help Olivia._

"Where is she?" Fitz asks as he shrugs his way out of his tux jacket.

"Bedroom" Jake mumbles under his breathe

"How long?" placing untying his tie as he glances down the dark hallway.

"A couple of hours…" Jake reluctantly answers. "Look Fitz-"

"Save it for later Ballard" Fitz dismisses him with a wave of his hand as he brushes his way closer towards Olivia's room

"What?" Jake's envious scoffs causes Fitz stop briefly in his place.

_Doesn't he know that Olivia is in pain? But of course he'd rather have this out now... _With one brief glance at the closed bedroom door Fitz turns to face Jake, his eyes cold and defensive. _Here it goes._

"You're going to say that there is no reason for me to be here right?" his voice calmly states. "You'll say that there is nothing I can do that you haven't already tried correct? In all honesty you probably didn't think I'd show up and yet here I am." Greeted only by silence he continues. "I'm here because something is wrong with the women I love and she needs me. So can we save this testosterone battle for another time Jake? I'm here for her not you."

"Don't act as though you are doing this for her. You don't love Olivia-" Jake growls.

_Of course that is all he heard._

"Unlike you, I do love her Jake."

All Fitz wants is to go to Olivia, hell he was here to help her not argue with Jake. But he knows that it obviously isn't going to let happen without Jake getting a chance to dull the chip off shoulder. _God I want a drink._

"But since you are so eager to do this now" Fitz states as he makes his way sits down and crosses his legs on couch, leaving Ballard the floor. "I'm not going anywhere so go ahead speak your mind."

And of course, like the insecure man is his, Jake eagerly jumped at the chance.

* * *

Over the past twenty years Jake has been gearing for the opportunity to say what he really thought of Fitzgerald Grant. Holding his tongue when it came to his "friend" Fitzgerald Grant , never revealing what he really thought, became harder and harder as the years passed by. If he were to be completely honest, Jake had never liked Fitz since the moment they met. Although he appeared nice enough, he knew all about men like Grant. Entitled, rich boys who only enlisted to boost their political portfolios never really seeing the light of war, far too precious to ever really be put in harm's way. They were users through and through.

While Jake had to fight to earn his place in the academy and beyond, things were just given to men like Fitzgerald Grant the Third. Grant's family connections and money easily paved the road for his governor terms and later presidency, things Jake could not even dream of. Sure Fitz may have went out of his way to make sure Jake always fitted in with the Ivy League boys, but that didn't make him any different from the rest of this prejudice in place, Jake never took the time to see Fitz has he truly was, instead choosing to see him as evidence of all the was corrupt in the world. And all the while Fitz remained completely clueless to the deep seated envy and hatred that had flourished behind Ballard's green eyes.

* * *

"You don't love her, Olivia is just a mistress to you. You don't care about her, don't know her like I do. You are just using her like you use everyone. We are all just stepping stones for the _**"precious"**_ Grant legacy huh? Even if you did care about her you would know that I'm what is best for Olivia!" Not getting the rise he wanted Jake continues "And you are right I didn't expect the _President of the United States _to drop everything for a women, but I guess I underestimated how far you Grant men will go for a piece of ass." Jake huffs out now satisfied by his chance to finally take the man before him down a peg.

It took Fitz much effort to tame the anger that rapidly grew with each word Ballard spoke. Standing up he makes his way behind the sofa putting needed distance between him and the man he once thought of as a friend. Curbing the desire to reacquaint Ballard's face with his fists, Fitz takes a moment to choose his words very wisely.

"You always had a way with words Jake, it used to be a redeeming talent of yours. Well that and you were loyal but we both know how that has changed. You've had your say no listen to mine very carefully: You are wrong Jake, almost borderline delusional. Somewhere along the way you have seem to forgotten that all the "things" you know about Olivia were learned from surveillance. Surveillance that I ordered as a favor from a friend. You have also seem to have forgotten that Instead of watching her quietly like I asked, you choose to sleep with her and tape it. Yes I know about that, does she?"

"Fitz-"

"**I AM NOT DONE!**" Fitz snaps rounding the sofa until he face to face with source of his anger. "I trusted you as a friend Jake, to look after her while I was dealing my own issues and you betrayed not only your friend but also the President of the United States. Something I could have you arrested for treason if I was a lesser man, but lucky for you I'm not." Sighing Fitz tries to calm down temper. "There also seems to be some difficulty distinguishing me from my father. I am **not** him, nor will I **ever** be him. Let me clear something up for you; I never slept with Jeanie. Hell I was never even left alone with the girl. The only reason I went on national television and lied about it was because Olivia asked me. So she could get YOU out of her father's clutches, something I gravely regret agreeing to now. "

* * *

Unbeknownst to the two warring men their growing argument has now gained an audience. Woken by the sound of her front door closing Olivia had hoped that Jake had given up and left. Shuffling out of the bedroom she hears the yelling and commotion in the center of her apartment. Tiptoeing her way towards the living room she stunned to see Fitz there, anger obvious, facing off against intimidated Jake. Curious as to the nature of the tense conversation between the two, Olivia stands silent in hallway, listening.

* * *

"Liv is not just another woman to me. She damn well was never just a mistress. And you will _**NEVER AGAIN REFER TO HER AS **_ "a piece of ass". Whether you want to believe it or not I don't care but rest assure I am in love with that women in there. Olivia _**is **_the love of my life; she's it for me." Fitz continues pouring out his heart, saying the things he always felt but knew Olivia would never allow him to voice.

Jake does not hear the truth in Fitz voice, consciously choosing to ignore the heartfelt words pouring out of the Presidents mouth. "You don't know-"

Throwing his head back frustrated laughter Fitz interrupts Jake's pointless claims. "No, you don't know her! You could spend a thousand hours with her and still there are things you will never learn. Like how her right eye twitches whenever she has a headache or how she doesn't know how to cook for her life unless its boiled eggs and popcorn. Do you know why she hates her natural curls although I find them beautiful? Or how about why Livvie will continue to wear heels even if her feet swell at the end of the day? You'll never late up late in bed discussing ideal children's names learning that while Liv finds Fitzgerald to be ridiculous name, she thinks Nathan is even worse for a boy. I do know her Jake, just like she knows me . Much more than you ever will."

The air in the room then grows stale, both men realizing the truth of what Fitz had just said.

But Jake refuses to give up, refuses to let Fitz win this time. "You don't deserve her. You have a wife-" he gloats knowing that his marriage is Fitz's greatest strike against him.

Balling his fist at his sides, Fitz wants nothing more than to remove that smug smirk on Ballard's face, but knows it would solve nothing more than his growing desire to see Jake's face bloodied. "You think I don't know that?! I don't deserve her. May never do. I know I am not worthy of her. I'm reminded of that every time I look into those lovely brown eyes." Glancing towards the heaven Fitz slowly regains his composure and continues the desperation in his voice evident. "You think I want it this way? To keep the love of my life in the shadows, while I'm stuck in a destructive sham of a marriage? Tied to a woman whose sole goal in life seems to make me miserable. I have never put this presidency above her, everyone knows she is the only reason I'm still in office so don't you dare say that I've used her to achieve the highest office in this land...I would give all it up, even switch places with you in a heartbeat if that meant I could be with her openly."

"You can't have her." Jake stutters, stunned by Fitz's honest admission.

"I'm not here to fight over her like some prize, she is not some object to be won. I'm ... I'm here.. because Olivia is in pain and if there is even a small chance for me to help her I will." Fitz replies as his eyes start to water with unshed years.

Shell shocked by the truth of Fitz's words, Olivia steps forth from the shadows.

Unaware that the topic of his heartfelt disclosure stands right behind him Fitz continues. "All I want... All I have ever wanted is for her to be happy, Jake. If Olivia tells me tomorrow that she has found someone else and wants to get married and have his children then I would gladly step aside if that what it would take to make her happy." All of a sudden Fitz finally feels Olivia's presence and turns making eye contact with her as he state his last words. "That's what you do for someone you love."

The mixed emotions behind Olivia's eyes reveals to Fitz that she has heard most, if not all, of the argument between him and Ballard. But he doesn't regret one word, while he had rather spoke his feeling directly to her, Fitz happy to get the words off his chest. Olivia had never given him a real chance to let her know just how much she meant to him. While the word love was used often and easily, usually by him, any attempt he mad in investing their relationships was soon shot down by the small women before him.

_Well at least now she knows._

There was only one thing for them to say now.

"Hi"

"Hi"

* * *

_**AN: Well here it is, chapter three (all three weeks late). So I have good news, bad news and sucky news. Bad first: Ok it seems that I jinxed my self last AN, because literally the day after posting chapter two the hardrive of laptop completely fried. Just wouldn't turn on or anything, but the computer was five years old and it did good for its age. So after crying for a week and a half (I'm very connected to my electronics ok?!) I sucked it up and talked to the fam about getting a new one. The sucky part? I had just finished typing and editing two whole chapters when my laptop gave out without saving online. I still have the hand written note version in my binder but my goal of weekly updates doesn't seem so possible now. And here we are at the present, the good part, I have new computer and am an eager writer. So what do you think? Feel free to leave reviews and PMs I love them good and bad.**_

_**Yours Truly Cassie**_

_**tumblr : hisriverrunsdeep (feel free to inbox me here too)**_


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